Some Days Are Better Than Others
I may be accused of being a bit of a Pollyanna or viewing the world through rose-tinted lenses (though I actually prefer my shades polarized). However, even an optimist like me will gladly admit it: Some days are better than others.
Some mornings you wake up early, take the train into the city in 12° weather, and enter an audition studio to find that the chorus call you’ve arrived for is happening in a week and a half. And you have nobody to blame but yourself for improperly putting the audition into iCal.
Maybe it’s all the audition’s fault (i.e. your own fault). Or it could have nothing to do with the audition whatsoever. I consider myself a generally cheerful gal, able to see the bright side of nearly every situation. So I am especially tuned in to feeling grumpy, irritable, or generally dissatisfied. It could have to do with my breakfast, the weather, or that scenario I played out in my head that really burned me up (and which has yet, if ever, to happen) on the walk to the studio.
But however and whyever it happened, I feel it. There are at least 40 different facial muscles, and I can actually feel at least two or three of them clenched and tensed up. There’s the tiniest of sneers happening inside, which visibly contorts my face when someone bumps into me on the street.
It is when I am grumpiest that I notice how much my personality affects the outside world. That negative energy is almost palpable , radiating off of me- and unfortunately onto anyone who happens to be in my path.
So what is it I could take away from this day, though in my irritable state I am not terribly inclined to look on the bright side? A little comfort in that I don’t always (or even most of the time) feel this way. A little reassurance in that all the yoga I do affects the world in a positive way. A realization of the power I have to impact the world negatively, and the responsibility that goes along with that power.
Some days are better than others. That might not be pleasant, but it’s true. When I teach yoga, I talk a lot about sitting with the feelings that come during or after certain postures. Allowing them to be exactly what they are, accepting them without judging yourself for having them. I could definitely take my own advice this morning. I’m crabby and irritable. It doesn’t make me a bad person, and it will pass. Sooner or later, it always does. In the meantime, I was able to take all the time I wasn’t auditioning and write this post. And that’s certainly a silver lining.