I'm Still Here



At the height of the heat wave, there is so much summer of yes-ness happening.  I have been having all of the experiences- all of them.  And as each event passes, a mini-testament to life fully embraced, I have learned so much, felt so much, gained ever-increasing perspective that the world really is exactly as wide as I choose to make it.

And I can’t think of a damn thing to write about.

It’s as though I’m looking at a carousel, probably the big beautiful one in Magic Kingdom.  The lights, the music, the colors, the horses, there’s so much to take in.  And if I can just freeze, perfectly still, not blinking or turning my head, I can grasp it all.  A big beautiful spinning sight, a swath of emotion, a head-to-toe tingling sensation.  But the moment I try to describe the tinkling organ song, it turns into the feel of the cold bronze of the carousel poles.  The colored lights become the wind whipping through your hair as you lean back on the seat.  And the chestnut stallion with his head thrown back becomes the dappled mare with the long eyelashes becomes the galloping filly with the flower garland.  To pause and to try to define any single moment is to become instantly overwhelmed.

But Maria says to start at the very beginning.  So for today, after a break from posting that I have beaten myself up for considerably, it is enough that I sat down and wrote this.  Vague as it is, unclear though it may be, sometimes that’s exactly where we are in life.  We might be slogging about in the mud or we might be frolicking in the rain, but what it will look like in the end hasn’t yet taken form and shape.  I have no doubt there will be tales of my fantastic to summer to come, perhaps to the point of being unbearable.  But right now I am still frolicking in the rain, and I need two hands free to open my palms to the sky and catch the drops as they fall.

Be well.  

*Photo Credit Ben Carr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/bencarr/with/4205397572/